Another week, another Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore —wait, no it wasn’t, we had beautiful belly dancer Rio and a father-humping snake! It was a night of mind-numbing, bone-calcifying sketching horror!
Well, Rabbi Loew to the Ground, the snake in question here, did yawn at Alexis once. We think it was a yawn anyway. A menace-filled “If I wasn’t sleepy I’d snack on your entrails” yawn.
Also, you can apparently use snakes as hats. I. Did. Not. Know. That. The next time I visit my folks in the mountains of North Carolina, I’m adding that to my to-do list.
1) Eat at 12 Bones BBQ.
2) Have a beer with friends.
3) Grab that stupid snake sunning on the porch and wear it as a hat.
Oh, and forget the snake, Rio was stunning. She had some gorgeous poses, and treated us to a fantastic belly dance performance—we’ll give you a little sample of that later on in the blog, so keep reading.
Anyway, let’s get to the 1- and 2-minute poses!
Photo by Jeff
Photo by Alexis
A quick break later it was time for the 5-minute poses, the first of which was the opposite hand contest where if you’re right-handed you draw with your left, if you’re left-handed you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous you draw with your snake.
The two winners received mystery shots from Russell at the bar—I have no idea what they were but they looked tasty and no one fell over, so I think it was a win.
Then, it was belly-dancing time. I’m not going to post the full video of her belly-dancing here, you’ll have to go to one of her shows for that, but it was jaw-dropping. Here’s a sneak peak Alexis caught with the 8 mm app on her iPhone.
God, I love that app.
After Rio had a second to catch her breath, we started back up with the two ten-minute poses. The first ten-minute pose of the evening was a contest sponsored by our brand new sponsor Flying Dog Brewery! Yeah, they sponsored our anniversary session with Marla Meringue, but that was a one time deal then—now they’re sponsoring us for the foreseeable future! Hot damn! Not only were there specials on Flying Dog beer, but they brought a hand-bottled bottle of Raging Bitch for the winner that was bigger than my head.
Umm, well, all the winners to-date have been bigger than my head. The bottle was bigger than my head.
Rio may or may not have taken the bus down to Baltimore earlier in the day, so appropriately enough, the contest theme was “Snakes on a Bus”.
Meanwhile, as we all sketched merrily away, a storm was a brewin’. Literally. Russell and I stepped outside to discover the Nothing was bearing down the Windup Space like an out-of-control Michael Bay explosion. Oh, and when it hit, it hit. Smokers scattered in gibbering terror, thunder drowned out the music, and Russell plunged head-long into a play list of nothing but “Blame it on the Rain”, “Purple Rain”, and the like. If I could have lashed a steering wheel and myself to the door stand and screamed challenging obscenities at Mother Nature, I would have.
Instead, Russell cut me off.
And then it was time for the twenty-minute poses. The first was a random noun contest, with the noun being Pandora’s Box. The winner received Ricky Jay’s Celebrations of Curious People from Atomic Books, which is located at the corner of the Avenue and Falls Rd. in Hampden. Be careful—if you like books, walking in that place is like a crack addict getting locked in the evidence room at Central Booking.
Does Central Booking even have an evidence room? I dunno, I haven’t been there. (Momma gifted me with quick feet.)
At this point the monsoon outside had subsided and everyone outside wanting a cigarette or a quarter had been washed away to better shores. A five-minute break for Rio (who HAD to be in pain at that point), and it was time for the last 20-minute pose of the evening.
Since it was the day before Bill Cosby’s birthday, the contest was the best incorporation of pudding pops with the winner receiving Karen Hsiao’s Rubber Duck from Baby Tattoo Books, who, besides being an amazing publisher, run the Dr. Sketchy’s in LA, which is pretty awe-inspiring. Apparently only ONE person was inspired by pudding pops, so they automatically won. APPARENTLY the rest of the crowd wasted their childhoods. Yeah, I said it. Pudding pops rocked. If Billy Cosby had been there, he probably would have cried. On his birthday.
Many, many, many, many thanks to snake-charming, belly-dancing Rio; many thanks to Rabbi Loew for not bursting through support beams and chewing up any high school principals; thanks to our sponsors Atomic Books, Flying Dog Brewery, and Baby Tattoo books; tons of thanks to Jeff and Alexis for the death-defying nature photography you see above; thanks to Russell for slinging booze and songs; thanks to our brand new Dr. Sketchy’s person Stiger for helping me and my busted-up hand with the set-up before and after and with the timer; thanks to Fred, Kerry, and, err, several other people who helped shove some of the furniture back in place at the end; and last but not least thanks to Alexis for being our host even though she has a phobia of snakes.
It’s our last session of the summer and it’s with burlesque performance artist, Femme 6!
(Photo of Femme 6 courtesy of Amy Hefter.)
That’s right folks, between some birthday/traveling shenanigans and the Windup being closed for a week in August, there will be no sessions until September! Dum dum duuuuuummmmmmm. Next session, Monday, July 25th with Femme 6 is your last chance to attend a Dr. Sketchy’s before the, umm, cold winds of September blast through Baltimore!
And, btw, in case you didn’t hear earlier, we got plugged in Bust magazine.