Why did it have to be snakes?


Photo by Alexis

Another week, another Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore —wait, no it wasn’t, we had beautiful belly dancer Rio and a father-humping snake!  It was a night of mind-numbing, bone-calcifying sketching horror!

Well, Rabbi Loew to the Ground, the snake in question here, did yawn at Alexis once.  We think it was a yawn anyway.  A menace-filled “If I wasn’t sleepy I’d snack on your entrails” yawn.

Also, you can apparently use snakes as hats.  I. Did. Not. Know. That.  The next time I visit my folks in the mountains of North Carolina, I’m adding that to my to-do list.

1) Eat at 12 Bones BBQ.
2) Have a beer with friends.
3) Grab that stupid snake sunning on the porch and wear it as a hat.

Oh, and forget the snake, Rio was stunning. She had some gorgeous poses, and treated us to a fantastic belly dance performance—we’ll give you a little sample of that later on in the blog, so keep reading.

Anyway, let’s get to the 1- and 2-minute poses!

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Shawn Adomanis

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Shawn Adomanis

Jeff Lance

Photo by Alexis

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Lily Stark White

Photo by Alexis

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Jeff Lance

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Alexis

Jeff Lance

A quick break later it was time for the 5-minute poses, the first of which was the opposite hand contest where if you’re right-handed you draw with your left, if you’re left-handed you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous you draw with your snake.

[cough]

The two winners received mystery shots from Russell at the bar—I have no idea what they were but they looked tasty and no one fell over, so I think it was a win.

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Alexis

Lily Stark White

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Alexis

Photo by Jeff

Gregory Jericho

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Alexis

Gregory Jericho

Shawn Adomanis

Fred Zeleny

Fred Zeleny

Then, it was belly-dancing time. I’m not going to post the full video of her belly-dancing here, you’ll have to go to one of her shows for that, but it was jaw-dropping.  Here’s a sneak peak Alexis caught with the 8 mm app on her iPhone.

God, I love that app.

After Rio had a second to catch her breath, we started back up with the two ten-minute poses. The first ten-minute pose of the evening was a contest sponsored by our brand new sponsor Flying Dog Brewery!  Yeah, they sponsored our anniversary session with Marla Meringue, but that was a one time deal then—now they’re sponsoring us for the foreseeable future!  Hot damn!  Not only were there specials on Flying Dog beer, but they brought a hand-bottled bottle of Raging Bitch for the winner that was bigger than my head.

Umm, well, all the winners to-date have been bigger than my head.  The bottle was bigger than my head.

Rio may or may not have taken the bus down to Baltimore earlier in the day, so appropriately enough, the contest theme was “Snakes on a Bus”.

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Alexis

Gregory Jericho

Shawn Adomanis

Fred Zeleny

Ben Wiser

Lily Stark White

Photo by Jeff

Photo by Jeff

Meanwhile, as we all sketched merrily away, a storm was a brewin’.  Literally.  Russell and I stepped outside to discover the Nothing was bearing down the Windup Space like an out-of-control Michael Bay explosion.  Oh, and when it hit, it hit.  Smokers scattered in gibbering terror, thunder drowned out the music, and Russell plunged head-long into a play list of nothing but “Blame it on the Rain”, “Purple Rain”, and the like.  If I could have lashed a steering wheel and myself to the door stand and screamed challenging obscenities at Mother Nature, I would have.

Instead, Russell cut me off.

And then it was time for the twenty-minute poses.  The first was a random noun contest, with the noun being Pandora’s Box.  The winner received Ricky Jay’s Celebrations of Curious People from  Atomic Books, which is located at the corner of the Avenue and Falls Rd. in Hampden.  Be careful—if you like books, walking in that place is like a crack addict getting locked in the evidence room at Central Booking.

Does Central Booking even have an evidence room?  I dunno, I haven’t been there.  (Momma gifted me with quick feet.)

Photo by Jeff

Gregory Jericho

Lance Philpot

Ben Carnow

Shawn Adomanis

Lily Stark White

Jeff Lance

Photo by Jeff

At this point the monsoon outside had subsided and everyone outside wanting a cigarette or a quarter had been washed away to better shores.  A five-minute break for Rio (who HAD to be in pain at that point), and it was time for the last 20-minute pose of the evening.

Since it was the day before Bill Cosby’s birthday, the contest was the best incorporation of pudding pops with the winner receiving Karen Hsiao’s Rubber Duck from Baby Tattoo Books, who, besides being an amazing publisher, run the Dr. Sketchy’s in LA, which is pretty awe-inspiring.  Apparently only ONE person was inspired by pudding pops, so they automatically won.  APPARENTLY the rest of the crowd wasted their childhoods.  Yeah, I said it.  Pudding pops rocked.  If Billy Cosby had been there, he probably would have cried.  On his birthday.

Photo by Jeff

Shawn Adomanis

Many, many, many, many thanks to snake-charming, belly-dancing Rio; many thanks to Rabbi Loew for not bursting through support beams and chewing up any high school principals; thanks to our sponsors Atomic Books, Flying Dog Brewery, and Baby Tattoo books; tons of thanks to Jeff and Alexis for the death-defying nature photography you see above; thanks to Russell for slinging booze and songs; thanks to our brand new Dr. Sketchy’s person Stiger for helping me and my busted-up hand with the set-up before and after and with the timer; thanks to Fred, Kerry, and, err, several other people who helped shove some of the furniture back in place at the end; and last but not least thanks to Alexis for being our host even though she has a phobia of snakes.

What’s next?

It’s our last session of the summer and it’s with burlesque performance artist, Femme 6!

(Photo of Femme 6 courtesy of Amy Hefter.)

That’s right folks, between some birthday/traveling shenanigans and the Windup being closed for a week in August, there will be no sessions until September!  Dum dum duuuuuummmmmmm.  Next session, Monday, July 25th with Femme 6 is your last chance to attend a Dr. Sketchy’s before the, umm, cold winds of September blast through Baltimore!

And, btw, in case you didn’t hear earlier, we got plugged in Bust magazine.

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Ciao Bella!

Don’t know if you know this, but Maria Bella, “Baltimore’s Sicilian Princess” and founder of Gilded Lily Burlesque, is one of our favorite people on the planet.  (Of course, you are our favoritest person . . . don’t get jealous, I don’t want this to turn into a thing.)  She’s pretty much a superhero-nurse by day (she SAVES LIVES while I’m, I dunno, shooting rubber bands over the top of my cubicle), burlesque dynamo by night.  Actually, she does both of them at night, so I’m not really sure what she does during the day.

That’s not the point.

The point is she’s cool—cooler than us mere mortals anyway.  Oh, and she can hold her liquor.  I’ve never really been much of a drinker [cough], but on that rare occasion I’m feeling a pint, she can be counted on not to let an old soldier stand alone.

Last session was a little hectic—our photographer Jeff had an emergency that Monday night and wasn’t able to make it—so Alexis and I pretty much ran around like mad and did our best with what we had.  We aren’t professionals—well, actually, Alexis is pretty good; I, though, am not.  Unfortunately I’ve been coasting through life on my good looks and never bothered to figure out which end of the camera is which, so if you see a crappy photo or two, I took those and Alexis took all the good ones.

To be honest, I haven’t even looked at the photos yet.  Let’s take a look together, starting with the 1- and 2-minute poses.




Jeff Lance

Jeff Lance

Brian Dugan


Jeff Lance

Brian Dugan


Jeff Lance

Brian Dugan

Elstabo

We took a break so folks could get a drink, smoke, whatever (I don’t pay attention, as far as I know they were fighting with bottles out back), and then it was time for the 5-minute poses, the first of which is the opposite hand contest where, if you’re right-handed you draw with your left hand, and if you’re left-handed you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous you get heckled by Alexis on stage, you freak.

The two winners received mysterious concoctions from Russell behind the bar.  Nope, I have no idea what was in them.  Probably something nasty.

Brian Dugan

Jeff Lance

Brian Dugan

Next up were the 10-minute poses, the first of which was, to go with Maria’s fabulous black widow costume (made by Marla Meringue!), the best incorporation of Maria eating her lover’s head. The winners received sketchbooks and calligraphy pens from Artist & Craftsman Supply which is just down the street on North & Howard.  (By the way, this was the last session A&C was going to sponsor—they’re a great shop and we wish them well. 🙂 )

Jeff Lance

Brian Dugan

Brian Dugan

Hallsi Killian

Marjan Al Hameed

The 20-minute poses were next up on the docket, the first of which was the best incorporation of something J.J. Abrams-related since it was apparently his birthday.  The winner received a gift card from Atomic Books on Falls Rd. just off the Avenue in Hampden.  If you haven’t been there, you’re being silly.  It’s pretty much a geek Mecca.

Jeff Lance

Elstabo

Brian Dugan

Craig Hankin

The last 20-minute pose of the evening was an “I Dream of Jeannie” incorporation, with bonus points for the inclusion of Peter Falk or Columbo.  Yes, I know, it’s weird—we blame the alcohol.

Hallsi Killian

Kathy Daywalt

Paul Moscatt

Elstabo

Kilumal

Jeff Lance

Brian Dugan

Craig Hankin

We’d like to thank Maria Bella for an absolute amazing session (and horrible hangover the next day); our amazing sponsors Atomic Books, Baby Tattoo Books, Artist & Craftsman Supply, and our brand new sponsor Flying Dog Brewery(!); Stiger and Fred for helping me with all those pesky chairs; Tiffany, who tried (all the way from Houston, Texas) to find us a last minute photographer; the many folks who let us know they could help in the future if there’s ever another emergency; Russell for slinging drinks & tunes; Little Luna and Lauren Marleaux of Gilded Lily Burlesque for keeping me company at the bar; and Alexis for deftly wielding the microphone on stage.

So what’s next? What’s tonight, July 11th?

Snake-charming flying belly dancer on fire Rio!

Well, no fire.  Russell gets pissed every time I set something in the Windup on fire. But, there really might be a snake!

Snakes on a Dr. Sketchy’s!

How can we possibly top the last two sessions with Marla Meringue and Maria Bella?  HOW??!!  After many pickle back shots, the answer was obvious.  Bellydancing and mutha fuckin’ snakes.

Here’s a little bit of info on snakecharming-flying-bellydancer-on-fire Rio from her page

Rio is a certified yoga instructor whose style is ‘prana flow gone orientale’ following the trifecta method of YogaWorks that combines Ashtanga, Iyengar, and Viniyoga methods into a well rounded cohesive practice. She has studied and practiced with Anne VanValkenburg, Eddie Modestinni, Nicki Doane, Elise Miller, Roger Cole, and Natasha Rizopoulos with continuing education around the US and Canada…. Her style is driven by an anatomical approach to individual alignment and creating a personal experience and path for students, no matter what background or experience. Her experience focuses on degenerative joint and tissue disorders and rehabilitation, mobility limitations of EDS, fibromyalgia, MS, and Minears, with restorative yoga and dance for anxiety and depression, prenatal and early childhood bonding, and empowerment through women’s outreach.

All that, AND mutha fuckin’ snakes.

Can you picture it?  (Are you picturing what I’m picturing?  Flaming scenery crashing to the stage, Alexis flailing about with a snake on her head, me screaming in abject terror, Samuel L. Jackson firing warning shots into the foam tiles overhead right as Rio cold-cocks him?  Is that what you pictured, cause, God damn, that’s what I’m picturing.)  I mean, really, how many of you have ever had a chance to draw a snake?  Don’t raise your hands, I can’t see ’em.

Before you ask, I don’t know what type of snake it is.  To be honest, I’m pretty well-versed on snake-lore but most of that info comes from watching SyFy Anaconda movies.  Basically I’m picturing something like this.

Keep in mind that if things get out of hand, they always eat anyone in high heels first, so if you’re wearing those things, for God’s sake kick that shit off if it starts bursting through support beams and gobbling up people like it’s a high school graduation or something.

Oh, and I should point out that snakes are fickle creatures.  If it gets sick, decides to shed, or hijack a plane, we’re just plain out of luck, at least snake-wise. 

What else can I say to convince you?  Oh yeah, Flying Dog Brewery is now a permanent sponsor!  Hot diggity-damn!  Apparently you sweet-amazing-sexy people made a hell of an impression, cause they’re here to stay!  Not only that, but prizes from the coolest-Indy-bookstore-on-the-planet Atomic Books and the “everyonewantstobepublishedby” Baby Tattoo Books. 

Doors at 6, start at 7!

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