Well, according to comments made during and after our session with the Junkyard Dolls roller derby team, it was the best session we’ve ever done. I’m not saying it WAS, mind you—all I need is every past Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore model showing up at our apartment with a brickbat—I’m just saying SOME people are SAYING that. Everybody has their favorite sessions, whether it’s the zombie session, Tony Apollo’s, that session where we just had a very angry hedgehog taped to a barstool for three hours—let’s face it, there’ve been some really great moments.
This, THIS, was one of them.
Alexis and I are always a little nervous when new folks pose, but this time? Not so much. They had plans—I mean, like, intricate, coordinated-posing plans. It was almost as if they had trained to act as a team in stressful situations.
Let’s get crackin’ with the one- and two-minutes poses.
Adrenaline Junkie
Doris Day of Reckoning
Chris Reuther
Trixy Le Doom
Chris Reuther
We took a short break so everyone could restock on liquid courage and dived straight into the five-minute poses, the first of which was the opposite hand contest where if you draw normally with your right hand, you draw with your left, and if you normally draw with your left, you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous–OH MY GOD WRITING THIS SENTENCE TWICE A MONTH FOR 3 YEARS STRAIGHT IS DRIVING ME TO A PSYCHOTIC BREAK. THIS IS THE SHIT THAT LEADS TO HEDGEHOGS TAPED TO BARSTOOLS, FOLKS.
I think . . . I think we’re going to call the contest “Best Non-Dominant Appendage Drawing” for here on out.
I am not saying that on stage. For now on it’s, “Oh just fucking switch hands already! Jesus-fucking-Christ!” contest. –Alexis
The two winners received a mystery concoction from our friendly neighborhood bartender, Russell.
Smearin’ Off Ice
The remaining 5-minute poses.
Quickshot Kitty
Trixy Le Doom
Smearin’ Off Ice & Adrenaline Junkie
Another break, another drink, and it was 10-minute pose time. Since the day before had been Quentin Tarantino’s birthday, we asked folks to draw a tribute, with the two winners receiving either an issue of Retro Lovely and an issue of the roller-derby zine Booty by Anne Thalheimer from Atomic Books in Hampden, or a package of Prismacolor color pencils from Artist & Craftsman Supply just down the street.
Quickshot Kitty & Doris Day of Reckoning
Kelly O’ShankU, Quickshot Kitty, Adrenaline Junkie, Smearin’ Off Ice, & Trixy Le Doom
BTW, Adrenaline Junkie was inspecting the massive bruise Smearin’ Off Ice got just days earlier at the Dolls’ last bout. Next up were the 20-minute poses which, well, the Junkyard Dolls just plain ol’ blew out of the water. Since we thought that last massive group pose looked like a great set-up for a Baroque-style painting, the contest was “best homage to the Old Masters” with the prize being two tickets to see the Junkyard Dolls’ next bout.
Adrenaline Junkie & Smearin’ Off Ice
Chris Reuther
Oh, what was that? You want to know when the Junkyard Dolls play next? That’s what I thought I heard you say. You know, through my computer screen. My, umm, time-traveling computer screen that will, uh, communicate your desires when you read this post three days after I’ve written it.
Their next bout is June 18.
Also, did you notice Smearin’ Off Ice’s awesome monster bra? Check out She’s So Pretty! if you want one of your own.
The last 20-minute pose of the evening’s contest was the best incorporation of an actual junkyard with the winner receiving either a pair of tights from What Katie Did or Ragnar’s Izzy’s Very Important Job from Baby Tattoo Books.
Trixy Le Doom, Kelly O’ShankU, Doris Day of Reckoning, & Quickshot Kitty
Chris Reuther
Yowsa, what a night.
I’d like to thank the Junkyard Dolls roller-derby team for one of the best sessions we’ve ever had; our generous sponsors Atomic Books, Artist & Craftsman Supply, Baby Tattoo Books, and What Katie Did; Russell of the Windup Space for the fantastic venue and for slinging booze and music; Jeff for rocking the photos; and Alexis for MC-ing the whole shebang.
Next Dr. Sketchy’s is Monday, April 11, with Team Atomic to benefit Moveable Feast! All cover and tips go to charity! You get to do a good deed AND draw AND have a beer. Life doesn’t get much better than that.
Dr. Sketchy's Baltimore 
