First, I just want to thank again everyone who showed up at Dionysus for our session with Maria Bella on the 9th–both those who did get a seat, and those we unfortunately couldn’t accommodate. It was probably our largest turnout so far, and it killed me to have to turn away folks once we couldn’t cram anyone else into the dining room. So again, please remember to show up early. Sometimes there may be a seat for you if you show up at 7:30, or even at 8:30, but it’ll be pretty unlikely for most sessions unless the weather’s crappy or it’s finals week.
We love you all dearly for making the Charm City branch of Dr. Sketchy’s such a success, but a few things happened at last session that made us go, “hmmm”. So, a few things worth mentioning:
One, outside food is prohibited. We never mentioned this before the 9th because, as Aaron’s said here before, it seemed kinda obvious–Dionysus is a restaurant, and it’s totally disrespectful to bring in outside food. The restaurant doesn’t charge us anything to have Dr. Sketchy’s in their dining room–the only thing that makes it worthwhile for them to have us is that the hope that you guys not only buy a beer or three, but maybe a pizza to split among your tablemates. So, it’s a slap in the face for them to see folks eating out of take-out boxes, and something that might make them reconsider hosting us–leaving Dr. Sketchy’s homeless. If you’re low on funds and don’t have the $10 to spend on the best chicken sandwich you’ll ever have, then plan accordingly and eat before you arrive.
Two, don’t be an asshole. You may have noticed that one of the rules I don’t announce at each session but is included in the rules on the side rail of this blog is “don’t be a creep.” I just left it out because, on the whole, folks have been awesome, and it seemed insulting to state something that obvious. To elaborate a little on this, let me give you a few examples:
–If you’ve got a problem with another attendee (or the Dionysus staff, or the model), or with your seating arrangements, talk to us first and we’ll step in. Do not try to handle it yourself by being rude or otherwise starting a fight with anyone (that includes us). We have no problem kicking out assholes without issuing a refund, particularly when we have a full house and there are people waiting downstairs for a seat to open up. As Aaron mentioned in his previous blog, we’re not doing this for the money–there really isn’t much to be had, honestly–we do this totally for fun. Please don’t ruin it for us, or for anyone else, by being a jerk.
As an aside, while yes, you generally will have every seat to choose from if you show up at 6, arriving an hour early does not give you the right to bitch out anyone who shows up later and sits in front of you when you yourself chose to sit in the second row. Pick your seat carefully, and talk to us if you have a problem.
–If you haven’t paid the cover yet and you blow past the Dr. Sketchy’s staff at the top of the stairs like you own the place–especially when our half-dressed model is posing for our paying customers–don’t be surprised when you feel Bill’s grip on you shoulder a second later and you’re immediately tossed back out onto the street.
Since this will be the first time I’ll have to miss a session of Dr. Sketchy’s (should have gotten that flu shot), and, while my delivery of the rules every session is far from flawless, Aaron is even more forgetful than I am, here’s the more straightforward outline of all the rules–the original four I announce every session, and the two above. (You can read Aaron’s more colorful version of the rules in the previous post below.) :
1) Applaud the model. Imagine standing perfectly still for three hours in front of a crowd of silent, staring, and seemingly unappreciative strangers. Now, imagine doing that in a g-string.
2) Tip the model. Again, their job is waaay harder than it looks. The applause shows the model our instant appreciation, but it doesn’t pay the bills.
3) No photography is allowed. Don’t take pictures of the model’s crotch and post them on Flickr. That’s just creepy (see #5, below). In fact, only the official photographer is allowed to take pictures at all. Press folks are exempt from this rule–just let us know who you are before you start snapping away. If you’re not part of the press, but think there’s a really, really, really, really good reason you should be exempt from this, contact us AT LEAST 48 hours beforehand. The model is agreeing to pose for folks drawing, not a photo shoot, so if we are going to make an exception, we at least need time to get his or her permission.
4) If the official photographer is standing in front of you, s/he’ll move shortly.
5) Don’t be creepy/an asshole.
6) No outside food.
And that’s it. Have fun tonight, and maybe even an Autumn Chicken Sandwich for your poor ailing hostess–who will be wasting away in her sickbed, eating nothing but chicken soup and cream of wheat, while you guys get to drink and draw the marvelous Lady Vile.
–Alexis
We try, out of fairness, to make sure people don’t win more than one contest per session, but sometimes we get drunk and forget who won what earlier in the session. Sean also was the other winner in the opposite-hand drawing contest for this sketch:
Dr. Sketchy's Baltimore 