She’s a maneater.

Photo by Alexis de la Rosa
Photo by Alexis de la Rosa

Don’t know if you know this, but Reverend Valentine is now the showrunner of the brand new Dr. Sketchy’s DC branch.  If I remember correctly, their very first was just two days before this very session.  That’s right, she hosted a Dr. Sketchy’s, then two days later, posed for one.  Not only that, but I’m pretty sure she performed in, like, 15 burlesque shows that week, ran for a public office, painted a house, burned down a soup kitchen, and exposed a counterfeit Fruit-of-the-Loom ring on the West Coast.

She does more in one week than I do in a . . . in a . . . well, that I’ve just done, period.

Do you put a period after you type the word “period”?  I don’t know.

Dr. Sketchy’s DC’s first couple of sessions were at the Red Palace, but since the place is folding in that way that all places worth a damn fold (Yaaay!  The Windup is going to last forever!)

I’m just joking, Russell.

Russell?

Anyway, they’ll have a new joint to hold their shindigs shortly, so I suggest you check them out—probably soon, it’s only a matter of time before we decide to go all Duncan MacLeod on their asses.

Let’s watch her get eaten by a bunch of birds.

Our sponsor this time around was Atomic Books who donated some gnarly prizes to give away during our weird, schizophrenic contests.  If you haven’t been to Atomic Books, check them out—they’re on Falls Road just off the Avenue.  They’re pretty much the best independent bookstore you’ll find.

Thanks to all the folks who sent in their drawings: Christian Tribastone, Dylan Andrex, John Schloman, Sarah Magida, and Tim Kelly.

Incredible thanks to Reverend Valentine for a stupendous performance and giving all our pencils and brushes something to do; thank you as well to our generous sponsor for this session, Atomic Books; thanks to Holly and the Windup Space for pouring drinks and being awesome; thanks to Maeve for running the door and helping me set up and break down all the “stuff”; thanks to Alexis for not only hosting the shindig but taking photos as well; and thanks as well to all you folks who came out to draw the lovely Reverend Valentine.

Reverend Valentine rocks out with her (pea)cock out.

So, at the end of the last session with Reverend Valentine, three different people proclaimed, “THIS WAS THE BEST SESSION EVER OF DR. SKETCHY’S BALTMORE!”  That’s paraphrased by the way—-not all of them screamed it, as the all-caps imply (though one did).  I don’t think anyone said “Baltimore” either since, you know, the context made it pretty clear they weren’t including sessions in the Philippines or Waco, Texas or whatnot.

Suffice it to say, Reverend Valentine was good.  Real good.

We’d love to take credit for the session be amazing, but in the end, all we did was see her perform a couple times and think, “Wow, she’d make a great model for Dr. Sketchy’s.”

We were right.

I’m sure having one of the funniest burlesque routines we’ve ever seen didn’t hurt either.

Shawn Adomanis

Shawn Adomanis


Shawn Adomanis

Tom Symonds

El Stabo

There was a short break for folks to aquire cocktails and dispose of the previous, and then it was time for the 5-minute poses, the first of which was AN ATTACK BY A GIANT DINOSAUR!!!!

Okay, it wasn’t.  It was the non-dominant hand contest where [deep breath] if you’re right-handed you draw with your left, if you’re left-handed you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous you cheat and make everyone else look like a bunch of drunken whatsits.

Shawn Adomanis

El Stabo

Shawn Adomanis

Want to know a secret?  There was a wee bit of confusion here that shows just how awesome Reverend Valentine is.  We accidentally gave her the impression that she was going to do her routine before the 5-minute poses, not after.  So she held all four poses while hiding the true nature of her costume.  That’s downright amazing, and as far as I know, no one noticed.

True nature, you ask?

Well, everything is not quite what it seems in the above photos because the Reverend is mere moment from performing one of the best routines of all time.  I’ve never in three years heard the crowd of Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore laugh so hard.  People were starting to hyperventilate and shit.

Here’s an itty-bitty video clip to give you an idea.

Quick aside—the quality of this video sucks.  Why?  Because 1) the tripod dumped the camera on the floor ten seconds beforehand because, well, frankly, I didn’t understand what one of the levers did.  Luckily, Jeff fixed the thing using his mad camera skills, so hopefully that will never happen again, and 2) the lights were probably a tad too low for shooting.

Anyway, enough hemming and hawing.

We then dived into the 10-minutes.  Rev didn’t even take a break, though we offered!  How damn amazing is she?

El Stabo

Shawn Adomanis

The second ten-minute pose was the random noun contest, in which your hosts forget to think  of a contest and so turn to the audience for help, in the form of suggestions of whatever person, place, or thing comes to the minds of the artists. “Armadillo” won out, so everyone was asked to incorporate this creature into their drawings. The prize? It was either a mini-Munny, or a copy of  Sparrow, vol. 4: Shane Glines—time and alcohol have made our memories hazy. Either way, these prizes were donated by the always awesome and generous Atomic Books of Hampden.


Craig Hankin

Adam J. Tolman

Shawn Adomanis

El Stabo

After another break, it was time for the first 20-minute pose which was also a contest.  This time, we asked the audience for a random verb, and thus came about the Best Incorporation of “Sparkle” contest, for the remaining Atomic Book prize.

Craig Hankin

Angela Hogarty

Shawn Adomanis

Carolyn Gilde

Adam J. Tolman

Harmony Farner

Tom Symonds

El Stabo

There was one last 20-minute pose of the evening, along with one last contest, which was a tribute to the B-movie director, Ed Wood, whose birthday was that day. The winner got to take home a copy of Karen Hsiao’s Rubber Duck, generously donated by Baby Tattoo Books, who also runs the Los Angeles branch of Dr. Sketchy’s.

Shawn Adomanis

Adam J. Tolman

El Stabo

Thanks to Reverend Valentine inspiring everyone’s sketches with her sheer awesomeness; thanks to our wonderful sponsors Atomic Books, Flying Dog Brewery, and Baby Tattoo Books; thanks to Russell for slinging drinks and tunes; thanks to Jeff for the photos you see above and learning me on proper tripod use; thanks to Styger for manning the door and setup; thanks to Fred for lending a hand; and thanks to Alexis for her slick microphone wrangling.

So, what’s next?

It’s our special Day of the Dead themed session with Nona Narcisse of Slow Burn Burlesque in New Orleans in honor of Halloween!

We’ve been looking forward to this session for MONTHS.  It’s going to be a doozy and I’m not just blowing up hot air up your thingamajob.  Check the Facebook event—a LOT of people have been waiting impatiently for her to pose for awhile now.  People are coming from OTHER STATES to draw her.

Want to know more?  Read the blog post below this one.  Who knows when, or if, Nona will ever make it to Baltimore again.  You’re really only going to one chance at this.

A Study in Scarlet (and Black)



Anybody see that Three Musketeers trailer where the lady is jumping around and sword fighting in a 18th-century ball gown?  We should have given Valeria Voxx some swords—that is a bad-ass dress. That corset ain’t bad either.

Not only did Valeria do a top notch job on Sept. 26th, but our photographer Jeff had a brand new camera to play with as well. (I wanted to play “catch” with it when he arrived—from the scuffle that ensued on his arrival, I now take it that was just a euphemism. Never said I was here for my smarts, folks—I’m pretty sure I’m just kept around for my looks.)

[No one dissuade him of that, or God help us, or it’s going to be nothing but man-child crying jags for a week.—Alexis]

Let’s crack open a can of 1- and 2-minute poses—if you don’t know what that sounds like, it’s like cracking open a cold beer after mowing the lawn, but instead of foam, picture a spray of ice-cold lingerie and glitter.


That first can always goes too fast, doesn’t it? We took a short break so folks could snag a second drink, smoke a coffin nail, or pee out that first can (you don’t want to know what that looks like—it’s kind of like when your dog eats a towel and I’ll leave it at that. [Oh dear God.—Alexis] ), and it was time for the 5-minute poses, the first of which was the non-dominant hand contest where if you’re right-handed you draw with your left, if you’re left-handed you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous we chop one of those suckers off cause we don’t put up with witchcraft bullshit at THIS Dr. Sketchy’s.

The two winners each got what looked like a White Russian from Russell at the bar, but to be honest, Lord knows what was actually in those things.

(photo by Alexis de la Rosa)

(photo by Alexis de la Rosa)

Another break, another mad rush for the bar (where you hopefully took advantage of the $3 special on Flying Dog Brewery’s Raging Bitch) , and it was time for the ten-minute poses. The first was our second contest of the evening which was the dreaded random noun contest, where people shout out random things until Alexis hears something that amuses her. This time around it was “tentacles”. The winner received a Gil Elvgren pinup calendar from Atomic Books.

The winner actually did a blog post about her session, if you want to take a look.  She won the second contest, too—a rare event, but sometimes the audience just knows who they like.

Seeks

Fred Zeleny

Tim Kelly

Adam J. Tolman

Tim Kelly

Anyway, the first 20-minute pose was another contest, this one being the best incorporation of Muppets in honor of Jim Henson’s birthday, with the winner receiving James Jean’s Rift from Atomic Books. Yup, this was the second prize from Atomic Books this evening, because they are just that awesome.

Seeks

Fred Zeleny

Tim Kelly

Our last 20-minute pose of the evening was our last contest as well, this time being the best incorporation of time travel, with extra points if you found a way to add an astronaut into the mix. The winner (who properly guessed that we were trying sneak in our favorite show in another contest—if you’re not caught up, lucky for you her drawing wasn’t included here because it was full of spoilers, sweetie!) received Miss Mindy’s Sassy Paper Doll Bonanza from Baby Tattoo Books, who, besides just being a bad-ass book publisher, runs the L.A. Dr. Sketchy’s.

Adam J. Tolman

Tim Kelly

And that was a wrap.

Couple “business notes” real quick—remember to clean up after yourselves, if you can. Alexis, Styger, and I don’t actually work at the Windup and we’re not waiters. There’s about as much money in this thing to pay our bar tabs at the end of the night. We love you to death—but we don’t want to pick up your plates, used tissues, glassware, shell casings, and etc. If you have a drink (Flying Dog!) or fire off a gun (no sponsor there yet), please take the glass or shell casing up to Russell afterward.

Also, keep in mind that former (and often soon to be again) Dr. Sketchy’s models can be anywhere. They’re like Commies—they could be your neighbor, your boss, or your arresting officer. A lot of them stop by Dr. Sketchy’s, even when they’re not posing, either to plan a future session, do shots with us at the bar, or drop off a summons. Which means you never know who’s standing behind you.

Watch One Life to Live folks. Personally, I don’t watch it, but I can’t tell you HOW MANY times Starr has said something about helping her father, Todd Manning, escape from jail right as her brother Jack walks into the room behind her and gets upset because he’s convinced Todd killed Victor Lord, Jr., Todd’s somewhat evil twin, who raised Jack while having been brainwashed into thinking he was Todd while the real Todd was locked away in a secret CIA prison!

Watch your back folks. Watch. Your. Back.

So, what’s next? Oh, it’s a good one. Really good.

(Photo of Reverend Valentine courtesy of Stereo Vision Photography.)

If you’re an astute Baltimorean, you saw Reverend Valentine perform at Ottobar a few months ago, or perhaps in DC at some point—I consider her one of the best burlesque performers we’ve seen, and well, we’ve seen a lot.

By the way, I said “one of the best”, I did not say “the best.” I’m not insane. If I see any burlesque performers lurking around our apartment with a length of pipe/baseball bats/what-have-you, I *will* call the police. Us and the police? We’re like *this*. [holds up two fingers squished together]

If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll do a performance for ya.

Maaaaybe.

We’d like to thank Valeria Voxx for a extraordinary session; our sponsors Atomic Books, Flying Dog Brewery, and Baby Tattoo Books; Russell of the Windup Space for slinging booze, tunes, and occasionally trash cans at us; Jeff for the stunning camera work above; Styger for shoving around furniture and ladders with me; Alexis for wielding that mike like I wield a bottle of jager—NO FEAR; and last but dearest to my heart (umm, except Alexis), thanks to everyone who helped us shove furniture back around at the end so I could get to my beer.