Boom goes the dynamite.

Photo by Alexis de la Rosa

Photo by Alexis de la Rosa

When I put together the Dr. Sketchy’s videos, after I’m done with all the pretty sexy stuff and the clips of folks drawing, and after I’ve tacked on all the logos and whatnot at the end, if I can, I’ll dig through the footage for something funny or weird to stick on the end of the thing.  Valeria Voxx’s session?  Jesus Christ, there must have been twenty minutes of stuff I could have thrown in.

Not only was Valeria Voxx of Black Tassel Boolesque bursting at the seams with amazing poses, not only did she put on a sexy and hilarious performance for the halfway point, but she managed, between her, Alexis, & Russell, to generate enough hilarious footage that I was in tears by the time I finished sorting through all of it.  Obviously, I couldn’t use all of it in the little recap clip, but it’ll end up in the documentary or something before all’s said and done I expect.

Valeria put on a doozy of a session, folks—not only that, but a lot of Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore sessions would be like wrasslin’ a big ol’ den of rabid badgers if she didn’t exist.  She’s also pretty damn good at dragging passed-out bartenders away from the prying-eyes of the po-po in a pinch—but shhhh, I didn’t tell you that bit.

Atomic Books sponsored this session with some amazing prizes for our contests.  They’re our favorite independent bookstore – check them out on Falls Road right off the Avenue in Hampden.

Thank you to the artists who sent in their drawings: Darcie Brook, Tim Kelly, and John Schloman

Thank you to Valeria Voxx for being her glamorous self for our drawing pleasure (and a bad-ass performance!);  thank you to our generous sponsor Atomic Books; thank you to Jeff Schock for many of the great photos you see below; thank you to Russell of the Windup Space for slinging the booze and tunes for us; and thank you to Alexis keeping a hold of the mic so it didn’t get loose and maul anybody in the front row.

She’s a maneater.

Photo by Alexis de la Rosa
Photo by Alexis de la Rosa

Don’t know if you know this, but Reverend Valentine is now the showrunner of the brand new Dr. Sketchy’s DC branch.  If I remember correctly, their very first was just two days before this very session.  That’s right, she hosted a Dr. Sketchy’s, then two days later, posed for one.  Not only that, but I’m pretty sure she performed in, like, 15 burlesque shows that week, ran for a public office, painted a house, burned down a soup kitchen, and exposed a counterfeit Fruit-of-the-Loom ring on the West Coast.

She does more in one week than I do in a . . . in a . . . well, that I’ve just done, period.

Do you put a period after you type the word “period”?  I don’t know.

Dr. Sketchy’s DC’s first couple of sessions were at the Red Palace, but since the place is folding in that way that all places worth a damn fold (Yaaay!  The Windup is going to last forever!)

I’m just joking, Russell.

Russell?

Anyway, they’ll have a new joint to hold their shindigs shortly, so I suggest you check them out—probably soon, it’s only a matter of time before we decide to go all Duncan MacLeod on their asses.

Let’s watch her get eaten by a bunch of birds.

Our sponsor this time around was Atomic Books who donated some gnarly prizes to give away during our weird, schizophrenic contests.  If you haven’t been to Atomic Books, check them out—they’re on Falls Road just off the Avenue.  They’re pretty much the best independent bookstore you’ll find.

Thanks to all the folks who sent in their drawings: Christian Tribastone, Dylan Andrex, John Schloman, Sarah Magida, and Tim Kelly.

Incredible thanks to Reverend Valentine for a stupendous performance and giving all our pencils and brushes something to do; thank you as well to our generous sponsor for this session, Atomic Books; thanks to Holly and the Windup Space for pouring drinks and being awesome; thanks to Maeve for running the door and helping me set up and break down all the “stuff”; thanks to Alexis for not only hosting the shindig but taking photos as well; and thanks as well to all you folks who came out to draw the lovely Reverend Valentine.

I’m never hanging out with Maria Bella again.

Photo by Jeff Schock
Photo by Jeff Schock

Maria Bella of Gilded Lily Burlesque is not only one of our best models and performers, she’s one of the best out there in our opinion.  At any one time, she’s got more heart for her craft, and the world in general, than most folks have in a lifetime of striving.  She’s clever, kind, funny, and strip-the-paint-off-the-walls sexy.

Here’s a dollop of advice with your Dr. Sketchy’s blog, though.  Don’t talk to her.

“What?” you say.  Let me tell you how it’ll go.  You’ll talk to her, and because of how cool she is, you’ll become friends (if you’re not an ass, mind you)–and once you become friends, then the calls will start.  It’ll be, say, 1 am in the morning, and your phone will ring.

“Hey, what are the two of you doing?”

“Umm, going to bed?”

“You should come have a beer with me.  It won’t be too bad, the bars close in an hour.”

“We can’t.  By the time we get a cab and get wherever, it’ll be 2 o’clock.”

“I’m outside your door.”

Sonuvabitch.

And so you go, and you think, “Oh, this couldn’t go too badly…” and [wiggles fingers and makes the Wayne’s World ‘twiddley dooo!  twiddley dooo!” sound]….and you suddenly come to, butt-ass naked, covered in glitter and someone else’s blood, wearing Maria’s pasties, standing in a wheat field in the middle of Georgia surrounded by an ATF SWAT team with a helicopter circling overhead.

And no Maria.

That’s how she rolls, folks, that’s how she rolls.

While you dwell on that thought, let’s watch Maria do her thing.

Was that a bulldog?  IT WAS.  That was the friendly and eternally sleepy Preston the Bulldog, favored ward of one Beth Rainier, a good friend of ours (who you should never drink with either, btw).  Doesn’t he clean up nicely?  I don’t even think I have a tie that nice.  Though it turned out doggies don’t do too well at sitting still for ten-minute poses, Beth gets mad props for bringing Preston by so we could give it a shot.

One of our sponsors this session was Canine Clique, Baltimore’s leading positive reinforcement dog trainers, run by Debbie Shepardson and our good friend Kiely Kyte (Don’t hang out with her either.  Actually, don’t ever bend an elbow with ANYONE (past, present, or future—especially any of those shady mf-ers on the door—associated with Dr. Sketchy’s Baltimore.  They’re all a bad lot, to the core. Well, that’s not entirely true.  I’m a fairly good egg, I’ll keep you on the straight and narrow.)  In any case, the amazing Canine Clique donated a gift basket for one lucky soul who won one of our weird contests.

Our other sponsor for this session was Atomic Books, probably the best independent bookstore on the planet (and we’ve been to a lot of them).  If you live here and you haven’t checked them out up in Hampden on Falls Road just off the Avenue, you’re doing one of those “Oh, I live in Baltimore but I’ve never watched The Wire” things.

Thank you to Tim Kelly and Craig Hankin who sent in the drawings below (which in my opinion the videos would suck without) .

Special thanks to Baltimore’s Sicilian Princess, the spectacular Maria Bella of Gilded Lily Burlesque, for being an awesome model and muse; thanks to Preston the Bulldog and his super-cool owner Beth Rainier; thanks to our generous sponsors Canine Clique and Atomic Books; thanks to Holly of the Windup Space for slinging drinks for our merry artists; thanks to Jeff Schock for taking some of the pretty pics you see below; thanks to our hula-hooping helper Maeve for holding down the door and helping with the hellish of all Dr. Sketchy tasks, the setup and takedown; thank you to my perty fiancée Alexis for being our emcee; and last but not least, thank you to all the folks who came out that night and bent an elbow (drawing or otherwise) with us.