Anybody see that Three Musketeers trailer where the lady is jumping around and sword fighting in a 18th-century ball gown? We should have given Valeria Voxx some swords—that is a bad-ass dress. That corset ain’t bad either.
Not only did Valeria do a top notch job on Sept. 26th, but our photographer Jeff had a brand new camera to play with as well. (I wanted to play “catch” with it when he arrived—from the scuffle that ensued on his arrival, I now take it that was just a euphemism. Never said I was here for my smarts, folks—I’m pretty sure I’m just kept around for my looks.)
[No one dissuade him of that, or God help us, or it’s going to be nothing but man-child crying jags for a week.—Alexis]
Let’s crack open a can of 1- and 2-minute poses—if you don’t know what that sounds like, it’s like cracking open a cold beer after mowing the lawn, but instead of foam, picture a spray of ice-cold lingerie and glitter.
That first can always goes too fast, doesn’t it? We took a short break so folks could snag a second drink, smoke a coffin nail, or pee out that first can (you don’t want to know what that looks like—it’s kind of like when your dog eats a towel and I’ll leave it at that. [Oh dear God.—Alexis] ), and it was time for the 5-minute poses, the first of which was the non-dominant hand contest where if you’re right-handed you draw with your left, if you’re left-handed you draw with your right, and if you’re ambidextrous we chop one of those suckers off cause we don’t put up with witchcraft bullshit at THIS Dr. Sketchy’s.
The two winners each got what looked like a White Russian from Russell at the bar, but to be honest, Lord knows what was actually in those things.
(photo by Alexis de la Rosa)
(photo by Alexis de la Rosa)
Another break, another mad rush for the bar (where you hopefully took advantage of the $3 special on Flying Dog Brewery’s Raging Bitch) , and it was time for the ten-minute poses. The first was our second contest of the evening which was the dreaded random noun contest, where people shout out random things until Alexis hears something that amuses her. This time around it was “tentacles”. The winner received a Gil Elvgren pinup calendar from Atomic Books.
The winner actually did a blog post about her session, if you want to take a look. She won the second contest, too—a rare event, but sometimes the audience just knows who they like.
Seeks
Fred Zeleny
Tim Kelly
Adam J. Tolman
Tim Kelly
Anyway, the first 20-minute pose was another contest, this one being the best incorporation of Muppets in honor of Jim Henson’s birthday, with the winner receiving James Jean’s Rift from Atomic Books. Yup, this was the second prize from Atomic Books this evening, because they are just that awesome.
Seeks
Fred Zeleny
Tim Kelly
Our last 20-minute pose of the evening was our last contest as well, this time being the best incorporation of time travel, with extra points if you found a way to add an astronaut into the mix. The winner (who properly guessed that we were trying sneak in our favorite show in another contest—if you’re not caught up, lucky for you her drawing wasn’t included here because it was full of spoilers, sweetie!) received Miss Mindy’s Sassy Paper Doll Bonanza from Baby Tattoo Books, who, besides just being a bad-ass book publisher, runs the L.A. Dr. Sketchy’s.
Adam J. Tolman
Tim Kelly
And that was a wrap.
Couple “business notes” real quick—remember to clean up after yourselves, if you can. Alexis, Styger, and I don’t actually work at the Windup and we’re not waiters. There’s about as much money in this thing to pay our bar tabs at the end of the night. We love you to death—but we don’t want to pick up your plates, used tissues, glassware, shell casings, and etc. If you have a drink (Flying Dog!) or fire off a gun (no sponsor there yet), please take the glass or shell casing up to Russell afterward.
Also, keep in mind that former (and often soon to be again) Dr. Sketchy’s models can be anywhere. They’re like Commies—they could be your neighbor, your boss, or your arresting officer. A lot of them stop by Dr. Sketchy’s, even when they’re not posing, either to plan a future session, do shots with us at the bar, or drop off a summons. Which means you never know who’s standing behind you.
Watch One Life to Live folks. Personally, I don’t watch it, but I can’t tell you HOW MANY times Starr has said something about helping her father, Todd Manning, escape from jail right as her brother Jack walks into the room behind her and gets upset because he’s convinced Todd killed Victor Lord, Jr., Todd’s somewhat evil twin, who raised Jack while having been brainwashed into thinking he was Todd while the real Todd was locked away in a secret CIA prison!
Watch your back folks. Watch. Your. Back.
So, what’s next? Oh, it’s a good one. Really good.
(Photo of Reverend Valentine courtesy of Stereo Vision Photography.)
If you’re an astute Baltimorean, you saw Reverend Valentine perform at Ottobar a few months ago, or perhaps in DC at some point—I consider her one of the best burlesque performers we’ve seen, and well, we’ve seen a lot.
By the way, I said “one of the best”, I did not say “the best.” I’m not insane. If I see any burlesque performers lurking around our apartment with a length of pipe/baseball bats/what-have-you, I *will* call the police. Us and the police? We’re like *this*. [holds up two fingers squished together]
If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll do a performance for ya.
Maaaaybe.
We’d like to thank Valeria Voxx for a extraordinary session; our sponsors Atomic Books, Flying Dog Brewery, and Baby Tattoo Books; Russell of the Windup Space for slinging booze, tunes, and occasionally trash cans at us; Jeff for the stunning camera work above; Styger for shoving around furniture and ladders with me; Alexis for wielding that mike like I wield a bottle of jager—NO FEAR; and last but dearest to my heart (umm, except Alexis), thanks to everyone who helped us shove furniture back around at the end so I could get to my beer.
Dr. Sketchy's Baltimore 